May 6, 2022 #Antytvir: Sofiya Voskoboynyk, Viktoriya Stasko, Mykyta Pymonov, Mariya Shlyk

Flash essays from the collection “Wars. Ukrainians. Humanity” tell about the insights, experiences, and beliefs of Ukrainians, that ignited their society in 2022, when the full-scale russian invasion of Ukraine began.

The Cultural Hub community and curators carefully collected, translated, and illustrated these texts to capture the values ​​of Ukrainians — Freedoms, Bravery, Dignity, Responsibility, and Humour.

A series of publications in partnership with Chytomo introduces this collection to the English-speaking audience. Volume 19 continues to present the series. You can get acquainted with the previous collection here.

These essays were written in 2022 for Antytvir, a writing contest for teens. It is an educational project by Mystetskyi Arsenal at the International Book Arsenal Festival. Its goal is to promote creative writing among high school students and create a platform for expressing yourself in a non-standard way. The organizers designed this project in 2020 and 2022 to support Ukrainian youth in highly stressful situations by allowing them to write and make their voices heard. Cultural Hub translated into English, illustrated, and added these texts to the “Wars. Ukrainians. Humanity” programme as a special series of wartime writings.

Sofiya Voskoboynyk, 13 years old
Our life after the morning of February 24, 2022

Our life after the morning of February 24, 2022 was divided into before and after. While I was staying in Kyiv, I saw and heard the strikes. Some neighbours left on the very first day of the war, some stayed for some more weeks, some fled and left their pets with their neighbours. Those who lived on the upper floors came to spend the night on the first floor. Parents told me that the sounds of strikes were not that much heard there and it was safer.

In my building we have some neighbours who left Donetsk in 2014, and when they were told to leave Kyiv, they said: “We already left everything we had once and fled, this time we have no place to flee, that is why we will stay and will be protecting our house.”

When me, my mom and our dog left the house, I had some mixed feelings. That was a well-known way to the railway station, but the picture from the car window was not ordinary: checkpoints, “hedgehogs” on the roads, servicemen with weapons, burnt military machinery, trenches, and occasional people going with their suitcases to the railway station… We left our house at noon and waited for our train to arrive till 10 p.m. While we were waiting for the train, many people of different age were passing by us: kids in strollers, people of elderly age with walking sticks and in wheelchairs. But most of them were women with children and pets — not just cats and dogs of different breeds and sizes, but parrots, hamsters, and chinchillas…

Over the first couple of hours I wanted home, but common sense won and I realized that it was pointless to go back. It occurred to me — will this not be a one-way train, will an enemy’s shell not hit the train, and will we have a place to go back to…

When we got on the train, we felt pains in the legs, but did not pay attention to that. We were happy since all the passengers were seated, and nobody was standing in the corridors.

A man sitting in the neighbouring compartment had a yorkie who reacted to any motion and barked all the time, that is why the man had to stand in the hallway with a portable device and calm down his dog. But none of the passengers ever said anything to that. We were going all night long without any stops. Only in the morning the train made a stop in Lviv. A great many people got on the train. Some women with children and pets took their seats opposite to us. It appeared that they were from Irpin, they told us that after ten days of staying in the basement the children got sick, that is why they left. One of them had more than 10 cats at home, and she took only one with her, put a lot of food and water into the bowls, but she understood that she would have to go back three weeks later to feed her pets.

As everyone on that train, we hoped that we were leaving for several weeks, but we have been staying in Chernivtsi for already two months. And I keep thinking — and what about that woman with cats, did she come back home to feed them, was there any place to come back…

 Viktoriya Stasko, 15 years old
The sun is laughing at us. Don’t you think so?

The sun is laughing at us. Don’t you think so?

I wish I could put it out; I wish I could contradict it.

Will it break away if I hurl my scream into the sky,

or are we doomed for the rest of our days?

 

Where can I get a manual on how to live ‘for tomorrow’

to swim away from the old orbits abandoned by God

on old shark’s gills,

thrashing the waves of stiff, salty boots?

Father, I’m home! My home is a minefield!

My hands are bloody, warmed by charred bodies.

Pull me under the ripped blanket, at least for a moment.

Don’t let my grey eyelashes turn into dust.

 

Can you hear me, Hades? Perhaps, your place is safe?

Have they booked a cheap motel paying with their lives?

My requests might be inappropriate at times,

but do host us in your underground chambers!

Viktoriya Stasko: I am allowed to pray for others
where the mothers of murderers curse ‘my’ murdered ones… 

I am allowed to pray for others

where the mothers of murderers curse ‘my’ murdered ones. My murdered ones stood before non-existing gates:

their murderers will return with the crosses earned in battles.

But even if they return empty-handed:

they will live on, calm, well-fed, and bathed.

Mine will only stay with me in conversations

in my prayer world.

I hope they will get to live peacefully

at least in those soft sound waves. 

You are welcome here; we are loyal to you.

Broad vistas are opening up.

Decide where to go; what to eat for lunch; what to do.

Whatever you want, whatever you trust, whatever you love.

Here are my credentials! 

I pray for them to survive. I pray for survival: 

they scream psalms into the chests of ‘my’ chosen ones. I do not know anyone. Their name is unknowable.

To greet them in the morning,

I cork my last breath

and sound into a thin-walled crystal jar. 

I pray wherever

‘my’ murdered hostages are not cursed.

Viktoriya Stasko: Shaggy trees will hide our shapes… 

Shaggy trees will hide our shapes.

Promise to cry and remember about redemption.

Promise to keep the scores of scream-songs 

you heard in cold wards next to yours.

We are here. We’re standing, warm, alive, and bullet-torn. 

Look: there’s your shadow around the corner, followed by mine.

Sunken ships line up for a battle,

breathing wind, water, fire, and soil.

We are here. The sky is under our feet; the revival—above the sky.

Not the price we wished to pay

for an unfaltering ascent of our tribe.

But we’ll get another chance to fly.

The time is striding bravely away from hell,

even though it’s ready to yield to it.

Be afraid and cry—in fact, it’s not scary at all.

Scary is when you can no longer fear.

 Mykyta Pymonov, 16 years old
On the threshold 

Dream… How often do we hear this word from our friends and relatives, and how often do we say it silently, trying to motivate or justify ourselves. What is this dream? Is it a ray of light and hope that leads us through the abyss of pain, emptiness, and despair, or is it a skillful seducer who makes you forget what you really need? Life is a ladder we climb forever, not knowing where the next step will take us. It’s not scary to stumble, but what if you fall off it? Most people fear they will end up alone, without purpose, without a will, without ideas, depressed and devastated. Darkness and silence will begin to envelop their bodies, hopelessness filling the most remote corners of their souls, emptiness all around them… In moments like these, a dream is a savior, illuminating the road and showing that not everything has been lost. This source of flame makes you  stand up, and turns into a firefly that will lead you to the end. 

We always make a mistake choosing between dream and necessity… This  statement seemed to be my life motto. My dreams were so lofty. I dreamed of finding true friends; I dreamed of finding true love, being close to my parents, enjoying life and noticing the most beautiful things in the world — here and now. What were my needs?… Graduate from high school, prepare for external evaluation, go to college, find a job… You cannot reach your dream without pushing through the forest of needs first, but why go through it if you have no dreams… 

Values, priorities – all this is too abstract for ordinary people because they look ahead, live in the past, and try to do everything just for themselves, forgetting they are not the center of the universe. But maybe we, others, are wrong… We don’t know what to love and what to stand for. 

Think about what you dreamed of this January. Each move to do something for someone. It doesn’t matter how or when, for what or why, because you had a plan, dreams, and ideas higher than instincts. But what now? When we wake up, we hear a “wonderful” symphony of sirens; we hear “wonderful” news about the situation in the world and in Ukraine. Someone is less fortunate, and their present is complemented by rocket attacks, hunger, shootings, fear, pain, death, and grief… On  February 24, the universe was shaken because its heart was broken. The heart where freedom and peace lived. For what? What did we get? Is a simple truth not clear? Violence only breeds violence, and there is no winner in any war? Now tell us what you dreamed of in late February or early March… When we were sinking in the swamp of suffering, both physical and spiritual and moral. I think I know the answer: peace, life, freedom, meeting with healthy relatives and friends, hanging the flag of your free country in your lovely, peaceful hometown. 

Our whole country has fallen off the ladder of life. Everyone is now stuck in emptiness, but we are still one because we have a dream, one for all, the most powerful in the world. We dream of being happy, and we just dream of being! 

Every action has a reason; every step is motivated by something. We cannot condemn people because we do not know why they did so and not otherwise. Even when the situation seems incredibly obvious, we always miss the details and do not see the little things. After all, we look at one side when their number is  not counted. Does the concept of good and evil not exist, or are they just relative? How to understand who is right and who is not? And will there be any “justification” for any, even the most immoral act? Well, it’s not that simple.

Human choice and opinion are subjective. She cannot believe that she is always  and everywhere right, that she is telling the truth. But what if it’s not just a man? I have already mentioned that a situation needs to be assessed from many sides.If all but one of the existing parties say the same thing, is that true? It is clear that yes, and not  because, however, this is what the majority says, no, it is not so, but because a group  of people can be accustomed to a certain idea, you can accustom the people, but the  world cannot be accustomed. Why me? Who is to blame for the current situation? The answer is clear and simple: the powers of the aggressor country. Well, we know who is to blame, but this is the case when knowledge cannot solve problems. Knowledge alone will not win the war.

It is clear what everyone is dreaming about, but what is needed now? To help refugees, volunteer, and support the military and the country’s economy. “But I’m just a child,” someone may say, but you have to answer with confidence: “Don’t whine. First of all, you are Ukrainian. You are not asked to take up arms. You are sixteen. Help the country from within.” Teenagers are unlikely to volunteer at Ukrzaliznytsia or near the frontline, and it is not necessary. Keep up the town’s economy, help those who really need it, support their parents, filter information, and much more. I am, for example, an eleventh-grade student. This year, for obvious reasons, the external independent testing was canceled. Has it become easier? Not really. I need to study history, pass that three-fold BMI, and go to university, following some new and not very clear algorithm. Here are my needs, or, rather, my need, which turned into a dream in the abyss of pain. But the war is raging.

What shall I do? You can follow your dream and move to a safer region so as not to worry too much about your life and the lives of loved ones, to study and act, but you can also follow the need to help your country and people. Here it is, an eternal question, a dream or a necessity… Well, no matter what you choose, there is no correct answer. Each one has its pros and cons, something better and something worse. You will not be wrong, and you will not be right. Any bleaching will cause grief, but it must be destroyed. No need to feel sorry for yourself. What you must do is act!

We are a nation of heroes and free people. We stand for our independence. Everyone stands for us, and together we are united. When it comes to the lives of others, the choice  between dream and necessity fades into the background. Glory to Ukraine! Together toward victory!

Mariya Shlyk, 16 years old
On the brink 

When we were learning about wars at school and reading wartime literature, everyone  thought: “Thank God we do not live in times like that.” No one could imagine that we would have to go through the things our grandparents went through in the 20th century. When older people raised their glasses at the family get-togethers and toasted, “May there be no war on our land,” we were surprised and thought, “Of course, there will be no war!” But if we said “never again” commemorating the victims of World War II in our homeland, then our neighbors, the aggressor country, bragged,  “We can do it again.” 

Historical memory is an interesting thing. Instead of learning the lesson that war is terrible and brings only deaths and devastation, that people should do anything to prevent it, and that war has NO excuses, our neighboring country learned another lesson that they could always start a war again. And they did, but now they are fascists and war criminals. And I sincerely hope none of their crimes will go unpunished. 

When the full-scale invasion of Ukraine started, our days, without exaggeration, split into ‘before’ and ‘after.’ When it started, we tried to accept the new reality. We have long been keeping two dates in our minds. The first one is a regular calendar date, and the second one is a ‘reference system.’  

“What day is it?” 

“The twenty-eighth of February, the fifth day of war.The fourth of March, the ninth day of war. The fifteenth of March, the twentieth day of war. The twelfth of April, the forty-eighth day of war. The first of May, the sixty-seventh day of war.” 

But sooner or later, the war will end, and there will be no more days of the war. We will count the days after our victory instead. Actually, we have already won. With the advent of war, our national spirit rose, and the Ukrainians united as never before. War is not only about expensive and high-precision equipment — it is first and foremost about people, both on the frontlines and in the rear. The advantage is always on the side of those who defend their land, fighting for the truth and their people. As President Zelenskyy said in one of his speeches, “Life will overcome death, and light will overcome darkness.” This phrase has already become iconic. 

What power the word is endowed with! Our famous Ukrainian writer Vasyl Sukhomlynsky said: “The word can kill and revive, injure and heal, sow anxiety and hopelessness and spiritualize, dispel doubts and sorrows, cause smiles and tears, engender faith in man and sow despair, inspire work and constrain the soul…”

In times like these, we have learned the power of words — the terrible power of words. In our reality, the word carries propaganda, a terrible lie that persuades people to support the aggression or even take part in this bloody war.  

Before the war, when sensible russians laughed at the nonsense that propagandists had been spreading on TV and wondered who could ever believe in this absurdity, the same propagandists did their job and did it quite successfully, so much so that most russians support this war and wish success to their soldiers who went to kill in Ukraine. 

How come russians do not notice the similarity between their infamous Z symbol — which they paste on every corner and line up children in kindergartens and schools to recreate its shape — and the Nazi swastika? Is history not taught to us to learn from past mistakes and not repeat them in the future? With the advent of the war, more and more questions arise.  

Now you remember life before February 24 with a smile. The days when a failure in a school competition or in personal life was like the end of the world. Now you understand that all those problems were not problems at all, but just small failures that you should not have worried about. Now you better understand what it means to live in the present moment. Strange, very strange, but now I am not so worried about the future as before the war. Everything can change in a moment. 

I didn’t understand what was happening in the early morning of February 24, so I looked up the news on the Telegram channel. There was just one short phrase: “The war has begun.” Never. Never in my life have the words evoked such mixed emotions. Frustration, loneliness, sorrow, and anger. Such a terrible event; so much was already happening in Ukraine, on the battlefield and in the  people’s minds — and just a few words, a phrase to describe everything. “War” — one word that was the beginning of everything. 

On that day, it felt like they are closing in on you and pushing you from different directions, and you didn’t know which way to turn. This is what was happening to Ukraine. 

Now we know the true value of things and people. When you flee from war and danger, you can’t take much. But some things are far more important than material ones. Knowledge, life experience, human values, and sweet memories that warm your soul like nothing else. Life seems so empty when all the time you save money for something to buy in the future, forbidding  yourself small joys in life, such as traveling or a pretty outfit that fits you perfectly.

During the war, you understand the importance of words of support. It is essential not to feel alone in this world, and you start to appreciate your loved ones even more. There is a joke that at the beginning of the war, a simple question “How are you?” sounded like “I love you.” And it really did. 

During the war, memes also change. Everyone now knows that Arestovich works better than any sedative. There are even songs about javelins. And our farmers not only raise the economy but also, if necessary, can drive away a couple of enemy combat units with a tractor.  

How do I imagine Ukraine after the war? 

Happy, free, and prosperous. I think we have already shown that our people are strong enough to become part of the EU. There is also a joke that earlier, Ukraine wanted to be a part of NATO, and now NATO wants to be a part of the Ukrainian army. 

As the war started, all people reconsidered their values, and their worldviews changed. So many people have done so much for Ukraine after the war began, and many have given their lives for it. So, now your duty, as a citizen, is to live up to their expectations of a prosperous Ukraine. 

The younger generations were already more progressive and responsible. I am sure they will remember the great deeds of their defenders and build a better future for their country. 

The editorial “rule of small letters” or the “rule of disrespect for criminals” applies to all the words related to evil, like names and surnames of terrorists, war criminals, rapists, murderers, and torturers. They do not deserve being capitalized but shall be written in italics to stay in the focus of the readers’ attention. 

The programme “Wars. Ukrainians. Humanity” has been created by joint effort and with the financial support of the institution’s members of the Cultural Business Education Hub, the European Cultural Foundation, and BBK — the Regensburg Art and Culture Support Group from the Professional Association of Artists of Lower Bavaria/Upper Palatinate.

Author: Sofiya Voskoboynyk, 13 years old; Viktoriya Stasko, 15 years old; Mykyta Pymonov, 16 years old; Mariya Shlyk, 16 years old

Translators (from Ukrainian): Halyna Pekhnyk (Sofiya Voskoboynyk’s essay), Hanna Leliv (Viktoriya Stasko, Mykyta Pymonov, and Mariya Shlyk’s essays)

Illustrators: Nastya Gaydaenko and plasticine panel by Olha Protasova

Copyeditors: Yuliia Moroz, Terra Friedman King

Proofreader: Tetiana Vorobtsova, Terra Friedman King

Content Editors: Maryna Korchaka, Natalia Babalyk

Program Directors: Julia Ovcharenko and Demyan Om Dyakiv-Slavitski